Bittersweet is the only word I can use to describe how I feel right now. This afternoon I ended my 2 day long, 1225 mile drive home from Connecticut. It was quite the drive. Driving that long by yourself gives you a lot of thinking time..and along the way I was really trying to find a better or different word to help people understand how I'm feeling.....
But I can't.
Being home is bittersweet.
It is SO very sweet because I am HOME. There really is no place like home... whether I'm at my house in DM or at my sisters house or at my moms or dads or grandmas.. I'm home. I'm in a place where I am completely comfortable to be me. Where those around me know me well.. and love me. I get to see my family and friends who I have missed so much.. which of course is so important to me.
It's bitter because the chapter of my life that I was just living is in a sense over. I'm done traveling for a little bit... I'm done in Connecticut. I spent 18 weeks there... learning to love the land, the people, the work, and many new friends.
I feel like at each assignment I have sort of found my place... and I am changed a little bit-I've grown as a person and a nurse. In a sense- that part of me that changed is left behind. When I come home I have to readjust back to reality a little bit.. and as awesome as it is- it is sad, too.
I have no idea if any of this makes sense to any of you that have never travelled like this before- I'm having a hard time writing what I'm really feeling- but I wanted to write something tonight because it's been on my mind. I think this is part of the growth- good growth- even when I feel a little bit sad....
I will continue to pray for an easy adjustment back to being home and keep learning from it all. I think that is what is most important.. to learn from the ups and downs in life- and this time in my life is both an up and down...
Confusing, huh!?! :-)
